Strong Feelings

A few days ago, life took a turn at an unexpected moment.

As I was waking up, I literally woke up.

Laying in bed — resisting the call of the morning and its wicked accomplice, the snooze alarm — I noticed in the mirror on my closet door the image of brightly painted toenails on a narrow and feminine foot. Inching further down, I saw a relatively defined calf attached to a meaty thigh and a softer body than the one that got me into so much trouble years ago. This prompted me to sit up and slowly observe the face lined with dark circles gained from loss of sleep taken by an active mind. (Well, more so than usual.)

This renewed look at my frame wasn’t like the others. It wasn’t critical of my lack of a washboard stomach, my tired eyes or my ongoing battle to save my breasts from the grasp of gravity. It wasn’t to admire any yoga results in my slightly muscular arms, or lament my small-but-strong childlike fingers.

It simply dawned on me that I was alive and healthy, and all the things I just mentioned — which have either determined my diet or my insecurities — didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

In the last few days, I’ve gotten a promotion at work, begun steps to finally unravel the mess of my finances from the last three-and-a-half years, and discovered an amazing support group of like-minded individuals.

This comes on the heels of my continuing education in a course that supports my chosen career path (finally!) and the ongoing encouragement from a village of loved ones and a smattering of determined Buddhists.

In the wake of the passing of Maya Angelou and, most recently, Ruby Dee, it occurred to me that the impact of these women resounded not only because their gifts could be seen and heard around the world via innumerable resources and platforms. It is because they never allowed themselves to be pigeonholed or undermined by their physical attributes, and instead rose to reverence through their versatility, intelligence, indomitable strength of character and resounding faith in themselves and the potential of generations of others to be greater.

This week I saw more than what I could physically “see”. I saw the fruits of finally speaking up for what I wanted in my career and life and seeing them become possibilities rather than dreams and wishes. I saw an emboldened woman, who acknowledged she had more to offer the world than a smile and witty banter. I saw futures where fantasy once played.

I saw… me.

Only stronger.

Let the greatness begin…

In Remembrance of Maya

As the world mourns the passing of Maya Angelou, many — like myself — have taken to paying tribute by posting photos and any specifically endearing quotes and/or passages that she has gifted us with through the years. Others shared personal stories — where they had the honor of speaking with her, or simply being in a room where she’s spoken.

Like the passing of Nelson Mandela only a few months ago, the loss of Maya Angelou signifies the loss of another legend; an icon who selflessly used her own life experiences to encourage others to see beyond their own challenges and disadvantages to — as she put it — rise to be and do greatness.

It is that distinction which makes her an inspiration and a jewel worldwide. While some writers get so immersed in their own stories that they borderline self-absorption, she always shared her story as a testament to the strength and character she embodied and embraced — always encouraging others to do the same.

Many who knew her, knew of her, or encountered her were always left indelibly touched, inspired, and empowered. Her spirit and her words were generous and hopeful. She made our hearts smile, even as we cried for her struggles and found our own renewed purpose in her stories of perseverance and resilience.

In memory of a woman who treated all people equal (and with love), and made it safe to proclaim all women bold, sexy and especially phenomenal…

Thank you, Dr. Angelou.